


Baby don't be like that I brought you Toast!

by sightsoblind, the1967



Series: On Hold [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Betaed, Crack, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, NOW WITH IMPROVED GRAMMER AND PUNCTUATION!!!, OT3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-05-18 00:17:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5890690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sightsoblind/pseuds/sightsoblind, https://archiveofourown.org/users/the1967/pseuds/the1967
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve asked Darcy to keep an eye on Bucky while he goes on an extended mission. Everything goes great, until he starts getting stalked by a paparazzi who is really good at keeping him in her sights. He calls for an evac and Darcy and Clint stage a very public break up to create a distraction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I dedicate this to Kate. I love you as much as I hate you. Thank you for handling the things I can't and thank you for the notes that blossomed into this. I hope when you see it you like it.
> 
> To the rest of you... YAY I'M NOT DEAD!!! Just pretty messed up and I am still working on Avoidance. It's coming but I've now rewritten chapter 29 like three times... So here's this as an apology and to get my juices flowing a bit better. Love you all!

             “I wouldn’t be asking if I had anyone else.” Darcy was convinced Steve had no idea how effective his puppy dog eyes were. He seemed like too much of a gentleman to turn such things against a girl without warning.

            “Glad to know you trust me, Mr. Rogers. It’s not like I do this for a living or anything. I’m saying yes on one condition.” His face lit up like she just promised him the world and she didn’t trust it, no sir. Steve Rogers was far too pleased by her agreement to keep an eye on Bucky for him while he went on his first long mission since Bucky’s return.

            “I have conditions.” Steve nodded along, “I want access to your bike while you're gone. I’m gonna need clearance into your apartment. I am not responsible if I have to taze his bitch ass.” So far he had just nodded like a bobble head while that giant dopey smile never left his face. “I want one of those pin things. You know, the hydra pin things with the octopus skull. I have a question: in 1940 did people know what a Hydra was SUPPOSED to look like or was it just... _oh that comes from the sea it’ll be fine_?”

             Steve simply laughed. “I’m not sure. I guess I should have asked instead of killing them. Just, keep an eye on him; make sure he’s eating and not holing himself up in his room. Maybe, if you don’t mind, talk to him? If we had known you back then, you would have been his kinda girl for sure.” Darcy stuck out her tongue at him.

            “Well, I’m really glad I didn’t because it would have been a shame to taze Captain America’s best friend when I didn’t have a god to back me up. Have him call me if he needs anything and I’ll make sure he gets three square and a shower. Kay? Kay. Now get outta here and fetch me that evil pin.”

            “Darcy, I can’t even tell you how much this means to me. I’ve been worried sick and... what are you doing?” Darcy didn’t stop. If Steve was going to stand there talking, she was going to do her best to get him moving in her own special way. Nat had made it very clear they had 15 minutes before they needed to be on the jet and he still wasn’t in his uniform. That was precisely why she had access to run her hands over his chest and abs through his shirt.

            “I’m trying to memorize how pretty you were before Nat peels all your skin off to make boots... or maybe a handbag. A Capsicle handbag. Nah... she’s not really a purse girl. Just boots so she can walk on you all day long. Because seriously, Mr. Rogers, you’re late.”

 

* * *

 

 

            Looking after Bucky is easier than keeping an eye on the Scientists. He feeds himself and attends his appointments with Sam, where she assumes he talks. The most she had managed to get out of him, when he would stand still long enough to be spoken to, were one word answers or grunts. But it made Steve feel better so she continued keeping an eye out. There was only one tiny, stupid incident and he had been amazingly sweet and helpful.

 

* * *

 

  
            Bucky didn’t want to keep noticing her. He wanted her to go away and leave him alone. The more he looked at her, the more he wanted to see if she knew how to dance, or if her lips tasted as sweet as the name of her passion plum lipstick promised.

            He still couldn’t get the sight of her blood out of his head and he hated that it made him feel like he had failed at something he didn’t know he was supposed to be doing. She’d come out of the kitchen looking pale and drawn just as he had left his session with Sam. A muttered “excuse me” was all she gave, trying to push past him toward the elevator. She’d never failed to assault him with a thousand questions and a bright smile before. That’s why he watched her, because she was acting funny. That was the only reason – the sway of her hips had nothing to do with it.

            She pushed the elevator button, one hand clutching a dish rag soaked in blood over the other. Before conscious thought took over he was assessing the injury; she had nicked an artery when the knife went through her hand. “You shoulda left it in there doll. Did more damage taking it out.” He cut the blood flow off by pinching the artery closed further up her arm. She almost fainted in the elevator and he ended up supporting her weight all the way to the medical labs. She was settled with a doctor when he realized where he was and cut out before the experiments started again.

            Really, he had just wanted some time away from her... and her laugh... and those deep green eyes that looked like the forest canopy in France when the light would filter through the leaves in the morning... She smelled like the coffee his mom would make for the ladies on Sundays. She laughed like his sisters when Stevie would tickle them and pull their pigtails. She looked like every dame he’d ever lost his heart over. All in all, she was a bit too much of a reminder of the man he used to be.

            She had left enough milk for his oatmeal in the fridge with a note taped to it. ‘This milk has been specially formulated to kill anyone who isn’t a super soldier.’ Once the jug was moved there was another. ‘Barton put the fucking milk back.’ Then written on the bottom in sharpie. ‘Pain and suffering will come to you for this I warned you.’ The little hearts over the eyes had seriously belayed the threat, but he needed her out of his head. That’s how he ended up at the mall. Enough people so he could disappear into a crowd and more than enough to distract him and get her out of his head.

            He’d been there an hour and had already picked up a tail. His training told him to snap her neck and leave her in a dumpster. But he wasn’t that guy anymore. He had worked real hard to not be that guy anymore and one really shit operative wasn’t going to ruin that for him.

            Another hour of trying to lose her and he wasn’t so sure she was all that terrible. Sure, he had spotted her easily enough, but she was damn difficult to lose. Finally, he resorted to calling the emergency contact Steve had given him if he needed anything.

            “What’s shakin' bacon!”

            Bucky looked at the phone for a second, puzzled. “Darcy?”

            “That’s my name, don’t wear it out! What’s goin' on ice man? You ok?”

            “Steven told me to contact this number if I needed anything.”

            This was quickly becoming a bad idea. He was sure this was absolutely the worst idea in the history of ideas that ever existed. Oh god, now he was thinking like she talked. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

            “I need an evac. I’m being followed and I can’t shake my tail. I’m at River Gate Mall moving between the first and second floor of Sears Roebuck.” He ignored the small snort of laughter, not sure what caused it and not interested in finding out.       

            “Ok, see if you can send me a picture of your stalker and we’ll scan it through known Hydra agents. I’ll get someone over there to help you get out. Kay? Kay. Oh, did you get that milk for your breakfast? I’m seriously going to kill Hawkeye if he drank it – I told him to leave it alone.”

            “Yeah, got the milk. Thank you.” He cut the call off. It had been a useful distraction while it lasted, then with one little reminder he was right back where he started. Mooning over some girl who wouldn’t give him the time of day if she had any sense in her head. He wasn’t sure if he should be happy about her stupidity or not. The picture was snapped and sent off.

            He didn’t have long to wait before the worlds loudest extraction began.

            “WE’RE FUCKING OVER! I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE! WE ARE NEVER, EVER, EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER THIS TIME!” Darcy was wearing an obnoxiously bright pink shirt and purple leggings that did unholy things to her legs.

            “No, Baby, don’t be like that! Look, I bought you a toaster!” Clint was trailing behind her, sure enough holding out a toaster. She took it from him and threw it at his head. He dodged and it smashed into a display behind them.

            “GOD, I DON’T BELIEVE YOU! It’s always the same! You fuck up, we fight, and you buy me something stupid. Never. Again. Do you hear me! NEVER AGAIN!” They were gathering a crowd now, including his stalker.

            “Oh, come on, it’s not that bad! We have fun!” The archer was in full gear – completely recognizable – as he tugged her close. Cameras started flashing, catching every moment of her slapping him full across the face.

            “Fun is that what you call it? Acrobats have no place in our bedroom! It's TWO to Tango not SIX FUCKING TEEN!” Darcy pulled away from Clint and the archer went to his knees crawling after her.

            “But you said that thing she did with the hula hoops was nice!”

            “No, Clinton, I said it was interesting. There is a HUGE difference there. I don’t need the entire circus when I just asked for one clown! I just wanted my one clown!”

            “Christmas at your Mom’s was nice!” Darcy stopped and turned back. Either because she was approaching the wall of people that had started to surround them or because whatever happened at Christmas was enough to cause the hellfire in her eyes now.

            “A GOAT IS NOT AN APPROPRATE CHRISTMAS PRESENT!”

            “Wait, hold on! She was complaining about her lawn!”

            “And for that matter, neither are His and Her’s Brazilian waxes even when ‘she’s really good’ and ‘knows how you like it!’ You do not get to take my grandmother to have your asshole waxed! Do that on your own time!”

            “Your dad...”

            Whatever Clint was going to say died on his lips when Darcy let out a screech and started throwing things at him from a nearby display of mens accessories. “HE IS DATING THE HOOKER YOU GOT HIM!!! THAT MADE EASTER FUCKING LOVELY!!! Hi kids this is Chanel. She’s gonna be your new mom! Oh don’t mind her going off with Uncle Jim SHE’S ON A WORKING HOLIDAY!”

            Bucky tried to peel his eyes away from the trainwreck of a breakup going down in front of him. It wasn’t working. He hadn’t been aware the two were together but he supposed it fit. They had similar senses of humor and were constantly pulling pranks on the other.

            “Baby, please! I love you!”

            “WHAT’S MY FUCKING NAME, CLINTON BARTON!!! WHAT THE HELL IS MY FULL NAME!!! NO MORE BABY! Not sweetie, pumpkin, doll or sugar tits! My. Name. Say my name, you're actin' kinda shady and callin' me baby."

            “Darcy....” The bottom dropped out of Bucky’s stomach as he watched her face crumble. _Lewis_ he said again and again in his head. _Say it you fucking moron her name is Darcy Lewis_. “Logan?”

            With a shriek she threw herself at him, kicking, scratching and hitting with her tiny fists. He was lucky she didn’t have her tazer. It wasn’t until there was a tug at his elbow that he could tear his gaze from the scene the two were making. He spun to find Happy Hogan giving him a small smile. “Hey, I’m sorry, car’s this way. They usually keep that confined to the tower. Let’s get you out of here.” He allowed the man to lead him off, feeling a bit numb and trying to stomp down the desire to punch Clint in the face for fucking up so badly with such a great girl.

 

* * *

 

  
            He didn’t see any of them until the next morning. He had been avoiding them since the very personal scene that had played out yesterday. When he was finally driven into the common areas to try and fix a late breakfast, he found them on the couch. Their feet were tangled together as they passed pieces of newspaper back and forth, laughing openly and freely. Apparently she had taken him back again, despite her protests. Bucky was suddenly no longer hungry and decidedly queasy.

            “BUCKY! We made SIX papers! You should see this!” She climbed over the back of the couch, bringing a section with her.

            “Hey, Darcy, wait! Show him this one!” She darted back and snatched it from Clint.

            “Oh, yes! That’s a good one! Did you mean to reference the lizard meme?”

            “I did actually and I am very glad that someone caught it! Ten points for me!” Darcy shoved a tabloid at him bearing the headline: ‘Hawkeye Apologizes To Girlfriend With Toaster After Sexscapades.’ Beneath it was a picture of two lizards; one carrying a piece of toast. It had the caption: ‘Hey baby don’t be like that. I brought toast.’

            “They are actually calling me Darcy Logan because no one ever got my real name! This is fucking amazing!” Bucky quickly glanced over the article where they had quoted several of the more colorful things she had accused him of. Including nearly crashing the jet because he wanted to sext and him discussing Steve’s ass in the middle of love making.    “They're all super nice to me. He didn’t really sling anything back, I’m very disappointed. I wanted to be labeled as a degenerate right there next to him.”

            “Nah, they’ll get over my freak but they crucify women for so much as enjoying a nice ass. What about your father, anyway? What’s he gonna say when he sees it?”

            “If he says anything we need to call the papers. 'Corpse Crawls From Grave To Comment On Daughter’s Weird Public Breakup With Avenger!' I can see it now!”

            “I just needed some breakfast. I can leave you to your making up.” Bucky wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of the very uncomfortable moment.

            “Oh hell no! You get to sit here and see what the morning talk shows said about it. I had to kiss Clint to get you away from your paparazzi stalker. Now, as payment, you have to hang with me and watch the news feel bad for me.” She spun around back toward Clint. “Ohhhh, speaking of what people will say, will Laura be cool? I mean she’s not gonna get mad at me right?”

            “Nah, I called and told her that you and I needed to fake date and break up for a mission. She said it was cool, so long as I didn’t tongue you where the kids could eventually see.”

            “EW! God, Barton, if you stuck your tongue anywhere on me I would have washed it like a thousand times and I might still not be clean after.” Darcy grabbed his wrist and dragged him back to the couch, shoving him in the middle.

            “I’m making you a real breakfast. I mean, I’m sure porridge is fine most days but this calls for celebration. CELEBRATION WAFFLES AHOY!” She swept back into the kitchen and started pulling down ingredients, whipping them together.

            “Why does he get celebration waffles!? I had cereal! I had to fake date you for like ten seconds before I was publicly dumped!”

            “You can have waffles too. Besides, you got at least two months of 'Just Got Out Of A Relationship' to keep the papers off your back about who you’re seeing. And we can always get back together. But we still have an embargo on anything your kids shouldn’t see.”

            Bucky was trying to make his head stop spinning when Clint’s fist came into view and just hovered there.

            “Fuck yeah, dude! Waffles!” Bucky looked to the hovering fist, then back to the archer several times before he moved it down to tap against Bucky’s hand that was still resting on his leg. “Fist bump, dude. Learn it. It will come in handy.”

            “So, you two weren’t dating?” The chorus of “Ew!” and “Hell No!” that came from the pair were both immediate and violent. He had been a mess of swirling confused emotions for the last three weeks in regards to Darcy Lewis. It was oddly satisfying to have it all settled once and for all.

            “So, since you’re single do you wanna go out sometime?” He heard her drop the bowl full of batter. He followed the sound of her footsteps as she rushed back to the couch and launched herself into his lap.

            “Really, really? I can has my own super soldier?!?” Darcy was grinning and combing her fingers through his hair.

            “I don’t know about that. But I’d like to try not giving your mother a goat. Or your grandmother a waxing. If you want to try the thing with the acrobats I’m gonna try and talk you out of it. But in the end it’s your call.”

 

* * *

 

  
            It had been a month of hell. The team had tracked lead after lead only to come up with nothing. They had finally found the Hydra base sheltering the doctors. Cyanide and cowardice meant they had nothing to show but corpses for their efforts. Steve was just ready to be home.

            Bucky wasn’t in their shared apartment in the tower when he got out of debrief, despite it being two in the morning. He followed Friday’s directions, leading him to the common room. Bucky sat on the couch, the only light from the room coming from the TV, where a black and white movie showed a slime covered creature emerging from the water to the screams of all those around.

            “What are you watching?” Steve squinted at the screen.

            “The Creature Walks Among Us. I have been told it’s a classic and we were starting my education of movies I need to know chronologically. Tonight, it was Creature from the Black Lagoon, followed by Revenge Of the Creature and finally this.” He nodded downwards. “She fell asleep about five minutes into this, if you wake her up I’m breaking both your knees.”

            Steve glanced over the back of the couch to find Darcy with her face buried in Bucky’s stomach, both hands shoved under his shirt. “You ok there? I mean she can be a lot to deal with sometimes.”

            “Yup. We’re great. She does have a friend but she happens to be dating a god. We’ll figure something out so you don’t have to fly solo. Wanna watch the rest of the Creature Feature with me? They're actually pretty cool. First two were in 3D. Seriously, we were right around the corner from the world of tomorrow and missed a bunch of really cool shit.”

            Steve settled gingerly onto the end of the couch. “So you and Darcy?”

            “Darcy Lewis, and yeah. She’s pretty awesome, as she likes to tell me. I happen to agree.” The two friends slid into a comfortable silence. Steve finally relaxed as he watched Darcy shift in her sleep and push harder into Bucky, rubbing her face on him. Bucky’s only response was to smile. If you asked Steve, it was the best smile he’d ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> Update: OK OK OK ONE MORE... But only to wrap up the "OMG what did Laura say?" and "Did Darcy get her pin?" and a few other scenes from a hat I have... Including Charades where Steve guesses the worst clue in history.... BUT NOT UNTIL AVOIDANCE IS BACK ON TRACK!!! Ok... That is all...


	2. Chapter 2

 

“LUCY AHM HOME!!!” The back pack thudded to the floor at his feet as he began the search for Laura and the kids. He swept the house, finding a bloody mess on the kitchen floor. He slid into spy mode, tracking the trail out the back door and down to the barn. He could hear someone yelling bloody murder as he slid in, ready to kill whoever hurt his family.

“OH MY GOD THAT’S GROSS EWWWW!!!!” Clint spun around the end of the stable to find a half birthed baby goat surrounded by his family.

“THAT‘S DISGUSTING!” Clint exclaimed as the goat continued to scream and the baby kid burst forth into the world.

“You’re telling me. Your Christmas present went into labor in the kitchen over lunch. You get to clean it hot shot.” With the babe pulled free and Mama back on her feet, Laura hustled the kids off to wash up before turning on her husband. “Darcy was right, you know. Goats are horrible Christmas presents.”

Clint pulled her close. “You love Fuckface! And that goat saved my life! You don’t have to worry about the lawn anymore! The kids love her too!”

“Yes, I do love FRANCIS and the kids decided to name the baby Tony. But you know, jewelry or a new dishwasher or even getting you all to myself for a weekend would have been much better presents than the goat who took a bullet for you on some far flung mountain side.”

Clint just grinned. It was good to be home.

* * *

* * *

  
“Darcy, you have to take it off or leave the lab. We can’t have any metal in the room when I fire this thing up.”

Darcy pouted. “But I wanna SEE the thing go crazy when your portal collapses. They always make the coolest colors!”

“Darcy, it’s not going to collapse this time. I’ve got it right. And just take off the creepy pin! Do you wear that thing to bed?” Jane scowled at her as she made the final adjustments on the machine.

“Yes.” Jane nearly dropped the wrench when Bucky spoke up. He had a terrible habit of lurking silently in a corner while they worked. It got to the point where Jane forgot he was there; until he provided his creepy monosyllabic contributions to the conversation.

“Seriously, Darcy… You wear your Hydra pin to bed with your boyfriend?”

“Hey! Shut your Thunder Dome. I do what I want! And Stevie gave me that pin!” She turned to Bucky with a pout. “Jane is being mean and making me take my present off!” Bucky grinned and pulled her over.

“I’ve got to wait outside anyway. Gimmie your shirt and I’ll hold it with the pin while Jane’s portal implodes.”

“IT’S NOT GOING TO IMPLODE! THE MATH IS RIGHT THIS TIME!” Jane stomped her foot, her face turning red with the force of the tantrum over the pair of them picking on her.

“You’re just trying to get me out of my clothes.” Darcy grinned, stepping into Bucky’s arms.

“Guilty as charged.” Bucky swooped in for a quick kiss before Darcy stripped off the flannel with her Hydra pin and handed it over.

“Now, SHOO, I wanna see Janey’s portal not explode in glorious colors of success!”

Forty five minutes later, Darcy and Jane came stumbling out of the lab. Apparently success came with an explosion of green, iridescent goo.

“The math was right!” Jane wailed, scraping large globs of the goo into a biohazard bucket.

“Well… if you hadn’t shot that thing with my Taser when it was halfway out, it might not have imploded. OH, BUCKY IT WAS PURPLE WITH LITTLE PINK SPARKLES! It was the prettiest failure yet!” Darcy bounced on her heels several times, making grabby hands at her shirt.

  
  


* * *

* * *

  
Last night, the world was a beautiful place filled with sunshine and ponies and Super Soldier Stamina in bed. This morning, it was severely devoid of coffee and she wasn’t sure where the boys kept it. “Friday… Friday I need coffee…” Bucky had woken her a few minutes ago as he slid out for his morning run and she was not prepared to cope on her own.

“I shall have it sent up immediately, Miss Lewis.” With the promise of coffee Darcy rolled over and fell back asleep. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Friday chimed gently to wake her up. “Miss Lewis, there is now coffee available in the kitchen.” Darcy stumbled from the bed, yanking on an old gray tee shirt from the hamper in the shared bath.

Glasses forgotten, Darcy stumbled her way down the hall and into the kitchen where a large steaming mug of coffee sat on the table. Suddenly, nothing else mattered as she pulled the cup to her. “Hello, Coffee my old friend. I’ve come to speak to you again.” She sang softly before she took her first sip, reveling in the caffeinated goodness as it washed over her.

“Um, there’s a whole pot. But it’s cool, you can have mine. I’m just gonna… get a shower.” Darcy glanced up at a very shirtless Steve who was trying to slowly edge his way out of the kitchen.

“You do not want to take my coffee back.” Darcy waved her hand in front of the super soldier room mate. “You want to go home and rethink your life.”

Steve finally edged his way out of the room and disappeared, leaving Darcy with her coffee. Moments later he slammed into Bucky in the hall, too busy trying to stop the rising heat in his face to watch where he was going. “Your girl is in the kitchen. She uh… she doesn’t have any pants on and she’s wearing my shirt. She stole my coffee.”

Bucky grinned wolfishly. “Yeah, she would mainline caffeine in the morning if she could. So, Darcy, in your shirt. Where are you running off to? Cold shower? Hot shower? Something a bit less tight in your pants?” Steve groaned and shoved past his best friend's obvious mirth at his predicament. He was envious of Bucky, sure. He had an eye on Darcy for ages before she and Bucky got together. He had even hoped asking for her help might bring them a little closer, but as always Bucky jumped while Steve was still busy looking. It had been that way their entire lives and he wasn’t wholly surprised.

He settled in front of the computer to catch up on the news rather than giving Bucky the satisfaction of watching him actually get in the shower. It was usually his best option at trying to tune out the sounds of the two of them going at it. This time, they hadn't even bothered to get to a bedroom before they got started.

That’s when it hit him. The shirt Darcy had just been wearing landed neatly over his head – forcing him to get a large inhale of the scent – undeniably Darcy mixed with his own. His jaw clenched hard enough he thought his teeth would crack before he gave in and slipped off to the shower. Nothing else was going to get done now anyway.

  
  


* * *

* * *

  
“So, Captain America is in the kitchen half naked and you’ve stolen his coffee. What did you do when you finished staring at his little show?” Jane chuckled at her friend's distress.

“I JEDI MIND TRICKED HIM TO GIVE ME THE COFFEE!!! By Thor Janey! His abs had their own abs. He had like an Eighteen pack. I have stared at that man for YEARS! FOR YEARS JANEY! TWO WEEKS AGO I WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP THE GIRLS TO JUST SEE WHAT WAS IN THAT KITCHEN THIS MORNING AND I FINALLY DID AND I AM DATING HIS BEST FRIEND AND I COULDN’T SAY ANYTHING AHHHHH!!!!” Darcy collapsed into a heap on top of the table.

“Wait, you Jedi mind tricked him?”

“Yeah, you know.” Darcy waved her hand. “These are not the droids you're looking for. Don’t mind the girl stealing your coffee and staring at that amazing V at your hip line that’s doing funny things to my bits.”

“Ok, so what did you do?” Jane leaned in, grinning.

“I rode his best friend like the pony I never got for Christmas and forgot completely about the blonde bombshell because seriously, Jane, it would take a better woman than I to do any thinking while Bucky Barnes is trying to make you forget your name.” Darcy groaned and buried her head in her arms on the desk. “I have been staring at his red white and blue ass for YEARS! It's like stuck in my biology. I feel like such a heel!”

“Look, it’s fine! Just remember, look only with your eyes! It’s not like you died! Besides, if it’s a problem for the boys they’ll learn to cover up or work it out.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so... I make zero promises on how much more there is to this. I'm just gonna move the chapter count up by one until I decide I am honestly finished with it.... And yeah I totally saw an opportunity for a possible OT3 and ran with it...


	3. I believe in Miracles, You sexy thing.

Things had been quiet since the last sweep of Hydra bases and it was leaving the Avengers bored. That’s how game night started. Thor was bored and wanted to hold a great feast. He settled for Darcy’s game night instead. Steve had been hovering at the edges, watching Darcy and Bucky. He wasn’t sure what was worse. The fact that a girl he was sweet on once again picked his best friend over him, or the fact that seeing Bucky so damned happy made him fall deeper and harder in love with her.

He wandered back into the room, to the increasingly puzzled faces of the rest of the team, as Darcy desperately tried to get her point across in Charades. The number Eight… Leg… Claw hands?

“Hydra?” He wasn’t even aware he had spoken aloud. She lit up like all her Christmases had come at once and came running toward him. She ignored both the couch and the Tony in her way, climbing over both before launching herself at him.

“YES YES YES YES YES!!! You are amazing and the best and I lo…” She trailed off. “Love cheese fries EXCUSE ME!” And with that she was gone, past him into the kitchen leaving him facing a smirking Bucky and an Astonished Avengers team.

“What? It was an evil octopus… Hydra.”

* * *

* * *

“So, Steve’s got a nice ass.” Darcy’s brain stuttered. This was not the time or the place and he had better things to be doing with his mouth, like exactly what he had been doing three seconds ago.

“What in the name of Mew Mew makes you bring this up now?!?!?!” She squirmed against him, pulling him closer.

“We can talk about it later if you want? Talking about it now just seemed appropriate. After all it was your idea, you’re the one that brought up Steve’s ass in the middle of sex when you were breaking up with Hawkeye.” His hands returned to their ministrations but he continued to talk. “I just want to know about everything that turns you on. Now, people are most honest when they lie. So I know you have a thing for his butt. How about his chest, I hear the ladies are all for his shoulders these days.”

“OH MY GOD OK LOOK STOP!!! I’ll tell you anything you want just stop talking and go back to the other thing!” With a wicked grin, Bucky’s head dipped back lower once more. “I like his voice.” She squeaked out.

“Wait, what?”

“WE HAD A DEAL JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES!”

“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am.”

“He goes ‘Avengers Assemble’ and I go gooey in the middle. OH OH GOD YES RIGHT THERE OH GOD YES!!!”

Steve was trapped in a nightmare. That was the only explanation. He buried his head deeper into his pillows, trying desperately to find the solace of sleep and make the ongoing list of everything that turned Darcy on go away. Sure his ass was on the list but nearly everything else had nothing to do with the Serum. She got turned on by his voice. She liked to watch him draw. His eyes and the simple politeness that his mother had drilled into him. She loved the way he treated everyone equally, from the Janitor to Pepper Potts; they were all important to him. His Super Soldier hearing made sure he heard every word clearly, but even without it she was a screamer. He could never have missed the cry of his name on her lips when Bucky pushed her over the edge in the middle of talking about him.

* * *

Half of him wanted to murder Bucky for the now nightly ritual. The other half wanted to kiss him for the same. Between gasps and moans Bucky would wring her darkest fantasies out, putting either Steve or both of them in the lead roles as he recited them back to her. In the mornings, they would sit around with their coffee and Darcy would studiously avoid looking at him, while Bucky made sure she wandered out of the bedroom in various pieces of Steve’s clothes.

This morning, she was in his sweat pants and one of his tee shirts. Their hands met accidentally over the last cheese Danish and her eyes automatically darted up to meet his. The first time she had looked at him since Charades. Without thinking, he waved his hand in front of her eyes. “This is not the Danish you're looking for. You really wanted an apple one.”

Darcy heaved a great sigh, causing her breasts to strain against the fabric as she arched her back. His momentary distraction cost him the pastry. “Your Jedi mind tricks won’t work on me! I’m a powerful Sith master, secretly stealing all the breakfast pastries! I pose as an unsuspecting idiot and plot your FINAL DEMISE! AH AHAHHAHAHAHA!” Her laughter was cut short by a bout of coughing. “Shit! Evil monologuing is harder than it looks. All the same though, MINE! You eat the apple! I mean apples are American as apple pie and well… YOU!”

Darcy bounced up from the table with her stolen treasure. “I’m gonna go change. Bucky, you need to meet me downstairs in twenty. I want to get the jump right BEFORE Saturday. I am not looking forward to trying it for the first time on the dance floor.” She disappeared down the hall with a truly sinful bounce and smile.

“What dance?” Steve suddenly turned on Bucky.

“Some charity thing. It’s a dance-a-thon. Everyone has to do one routine and then dance consistently before and after. People make pledges for every hour you dance. She had her heart set on it but didn’t have a partner.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“BUCKY! Did you have a security check done on the place! No! You didn’t! You know how I know? Because I would have authorized it! I would have been the one doing the check! You have no idea how dangerous this could be!”

Bucky shrugged. “Figured the less attention, the safer and I could take care of anything on scene.”

“Look, where is it? I’ll go check it out and get security arranged for the event. You have to be safe out there. Do you have any idea how many people would hurt Darcy just to get at us? Kill her just because it would hurt? You can go get yourself shot if you want but I swear to god if she gets hurt because you're...” Bucky decided the best way to shut Steve up was to just plant one on him. Steve had seen countless girls go weak in the knees under Bucky’s lips and in that moment, he couldn’t blame them. In the last few days filthy things had fallen from those lips. Descriptions of things like this moment. The things that he had felt for Bucky weren’t discussed and Steve just put it off to friends of the best sort. He had never thought there was more underneath it.

The pair pulled apart at the sound of a small gasp from the doorway. “No, no, don’t mind me! Please, carry on! I’ve gotta go meet Janey!” Darcy slid slowly out of the room, making no secret of her staring. She was only gone a second before she popped back and stage whispered, “Do the thing with the ear!” Then she ran down the hall.

* * *

ShieldMaiden91: OH MY GOD MY SUPER HOT BOYFRIEND JUST KISSED HIS SUPER HOT BEST FRIEND IN OUR KITCHEN!!!  
Avenged83: Ok spill. How do you feel about that?  
ShieldMaiden91: Fucking Sploosh… oh my god it was like the hottest thing evar!  
Avenged83: Have you guys talked about this?  
ShieldMaien83: Like every freaking night! I had it BAD for his best friend for ages but the man lives in a bubble and Boyfriend TOTALLY knew this and he thinks its hot! FUCKING SPLOOSH!!!  
Avenged83: So what did you do?  
ShieldMaiden91: I told them to Keep Calm and Carry on then got the hell out so I could dream happy dreams that they're totally having boy make outs so I can touch myself to it later!!!  
Avenged83: OMFG that’s AWESOME!!! You know if you’re ever in NYC I can get you some AMAZEBALLS deals on toys! I work in a shop!

* * *

“Hey is the internet, um, you know, ok?” Darcy’s head snapped up at Bruce’s prodding.

“Yeah… Why?” She flipped her phone screen down, face flaming.

“Because you're typing on that thing a thousand miles a minute and I was a little afraid you were gonna shove your thumbs through the screen.” He smiled gently at her like a beloved uncle.

“No, all good here! Just, you know, some Dank Meme’s hit and they’ve been blowing up and I’m trying to keep on top of things so I don’t get totally left behind because then I’ll be SO last week and my job as Avengers Social Director wont even matter because I’ll be last week and...” Bruce silenced her with a hand over her mouth.

“Just so long as everything’s ok. I was just worried about you kiddo.”

* * *

“Where is your frame! Look, Spaghetti Arms, this is my dance space. This is YOUR dance space. I don’t go into yours, you don’t go into mine. Don’t look down! Let‘s Cha Cha.” If it wasn’t hard enough to concentrate with Steve and Thor sparring not twenty feet away, Bucky was insisting on making moves on her as they practiced the dance. “If you don’t stop that you're never going to get it right in time! You know there’s a winner ribbon in it for you if you if you do well. But if you mess this up I want you to know I don’t date losers. Now one more from the top and do it clean.”

“Every thing I do with you ends up dirty. I’m just a good Catholic boy. You’re the fast girl from the future drawing me down into your dastardly ways.”

“Yup! That’s me! Rescuing you from Sears Roebucks! Did you get yourself a catalog while you were there? I hear the underwear section is a bit racy!”

Thor knew Steve was distracted and he couldn’t blame them. His Shield Sister and the Sergeant made beautiful art as they danced. Two bodies moving as one to evoke a sense of intimacy through the movements. It was beautiful.

“They are impressive, are they not?” Thor grinned, clapping Steve on the shoulder.

“Uh, yeah. I was just never much of a dancer. I mean, I never really learned.”

“It is easy Stephen. Observe the pair. His body moves in mirror to hers. Their hips snapping to a single beat and motion. It is a perfect display of order over chaos. A display of strength over one self in the perfect control of the body.” Thor’s words washed over him unheard as Steve’s eyes stayed glued to the pair as they moved back and forth as one.

Darcy was finally pleased with the result of all the hard work they had put in. Bucky only needed to actually try but her progress had been hard won. She turned to the mats to see what Thor and Steve thought. Thor grinned widely and gave her a strong slow clap but Steve was nowhere to be found. Darcy tried not to let it get to her as she gave Bucky a quick hug and headed to the ladies locker room.

Halfway through her shower her phone chimed. She popped out and picked it up, opening the text Bucky had just sent her. She smiled and laughed, remembering why she was steadily falling in love with him. His goofy duck face stared out at her. She was about to close the picture but then she noticed the background. There, in the mirror reflected over Bucky’s shoulder, was Steve in all his glory.

_ Great view. Wish you were here. XD _ Darcy just groaned. Sometimes Bucky’s support of her little crush made things difficult for her to be a good girl.

* * *

“Jerk! Did you just take a picture! Bucky you have got to stop that! You’re gonna scare her off! God, I swear if you fuck this up I’m gonna murder you. You talk any kind of dirty talk you want but the actual reality of dating two people can be terrifying. Just back off and let her have her little fantasy.” Steve jumped when he turned to rinse his back and found Bucky hovering at the shower door.

“You sound like you’ve thought about it. I know I did. Back in our little apartment in Brooklyn. Used to think about it sometimes but I wasn’t going to put you in that position. Figured I would rather have a best friend than lose you 'cause I thought about you like that sometimes. Then I went and started fallin' for the girl you were sweet on. Then I find out she’s sweet on you too. Then I guess…” Bucky swallowed hard and ran his hand through his hair, his eyes focusing on something far away. Suddenly, he seemed so serious it scared Steve. It wasn’t just a game anymore. “I guess I believe in miracles these days. Look at every thing that’s goin' on. We both made it out and we’re someplace where people don’t really care. Maybe... maybe you don’t think about me like that. Maybe you never have but Darcy had it bad for you for a long time and that’s the only reason she’s with me so, maybe, someday, we might make that Super Soldier Sandwich I keep promising her.” By the time Steve recovered Bucky had gone, leaving only memories. Memories of long nights of them huddled together, pretending it was for warmth, in their dingy little apartment in Brooklyn.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK OUT LOOK OUT RUN AWAY FIC THE AUTHOR HAS NO CONTROL THE MUSE IS DOING WHAT EVER IT WANTS THERE IS NO PLAN WATCH OUT!!!!
> 
> Chapter Four: The Origins of Fuckface the Goat
> 
> And TEN BILLION internet points to anyone who can guess who Darcy is Chatting to online... we met her in Avoidance...  
> hint: #IAmAvenged


	4. Origins... or where it all started...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we have the origin of Fuckface the Goat taking place just before the previous Christmas.  
> Following that we have When Steve met Darcy, shortly after the events of AOU when Darcy moved to the bunker  
> Then by request we have the Origin of the Darcy/Clint Bromance that goes between just after Thor up to just after the first Avengers movie.  
> Then because my muse hates me and wanted to kick me in the feels... When Steve had nothing he still had Bucky...

 

“MOVE!” Clint hissed at the stupid goat who refused to get off the ridge. It was blocking his shot at the sniper that had Nat in his sights. It had been a great spot when the goats were still ten feet behind him. Anyone who spotted movement would have seen the goats and dismissed it. But now one giant, stupid, shit head goat had decided his cover brush was the most delicious thing on the face of the earth and it absolutely had to eat it. Clint shifted closer and aimed the shot under the goat. A moment early and he would destroy the mission. A moment late and Nat was dead.

The moment came and he took the shot.

Then the goat bit him. The asshole goat BIT HIM!

He rolled to the side cursing. “You shitty cunt bucket fuck faced cock garbler bitch nugget!” A fraction of a second after he moved, a bullet landed directly where he had just been laying. He notched another arrow as he scanned the mountainside, looking for the sniper. Another flash from a second shot gave the sniper away and Clint put an arrow in his head. A quick scan of the area revealed that Nat had taken care of the hostiles on the ground. The slug was buried in his vest so why the hell was there so much blood…

“NAT! NAT I NEED HELP! You still got that QuikClot?” Nat’s world stopped. She had a lot of red in her ledger but she would never recover if Clint’s blood was on her hands. She shouldn’t have asked him to come. The op was completely off book and they had no backup... wait, was he carrying a goat?

“Don’t you die on me, Fuckface! Don’t you fucking die on me!” Clint snatched the QuikClot from Nat’s hands and packed the wound in the goat’s neck.

“Clint… is that a sniper round in your chest?”

“Yeah and if this Fuckface goat hadn’t been so intent on biting my fingers off it would be in the back plate instead of the front. It slowed the shot Nat.” She could hear the tears in his voice. “Fucking goat saved my god dammed life. Slowed the bullet when it went through the neck, and I swear to god! YOU BETTER NOT DIE ON ME FUCKFACE!!!”

An hour later the two were in the back of a Quin Jet with the goat under the attendance of an emergency medic. To his credit, after the initial “Wait, I thought you said there was an operative down?” and Clint punching him and demanding he save Agent Fuckface at all costs, the medic had gotten right to work. Now, Clint sat nursing his bruised ribs, keeping his hand away from the head as he pet the animal's flank. “I know someplace real nice you can live and roam free.”

Soon, sleep had stolen the pair. Exhaustion took over now that two weeks on a frozen mountain side were over and they finally had the intel drop.

Clint woke to the sound of chewing. Glancing over, he saw Fuckface had pulled something from his pack and was slowly eating it. “NOOOOOO!!!” Frantically, he scrambled over and snatched the half eaten scraps. It had been a hand woven scarf he had purchased in a remote mountain village to give Laura for Christmas. “I hate you… I hate you more than Joanie loves Cha-Chi.”

“Agent Barton, We’re almost over the drop point.”  
*****

“MOMMY, MOMMY, LOOK!!!” Laura Barton got up with her heart in her throat. It was Christmas Eve. It would be just like Clint and Nat to show up at the 11th hour. Sure enough, they came walking up, filthy and still trailing the remains of their parachutes. It was the most beautiful sight in the world.

When she rushed out to meet him, he hefted the bundle in his arms. “Hey baby, I want you to meet Fuckface. He saved my life. Merry Christmas. I'm thinking I can build him his own enclosure and he can graze the lawn so you don’t have to worry about cutting it! He’s like a lawn roomba!”

* * *

“AVAST ME HEARTIES!!! We have an enemy ship within our waters! PREPARE FOR BOARDING!!!” Steve spun on his heel to see a woman wearing a newspaper hat waving a cardboard sword. Around her, half a dozen children had similar accessories as they pushed her around on a rolling office chair. She let loose with a battle cry of “ATTACK!” Suddenly he was swarmed by children, pulling him down and shouting classic pirate phrases.

Bucky was in the wind. SHIELD was rotten from the inside and he was desperately trying to form a brand new band of misfits into a cohesive team. It was the weight of worlds, but under the dog pile of children with no hair and hospital bracelets, the smiles and laughter on their faces made it bearable. Steve laughed for the first time in months. The hold of the vice in his chest eased as he was conquered by children fighting for their lives from an enemy within.

“You have been defeated Captain, do you yield?!” The woman cried out.

“I yield! I cannot win against such amazing pirates!” He laughed from the floor at his conquering heroes. “May I know the names of these great heroes?”

In turn, each gave their name and a small bow. Jessie, James, Pamela, Aria, Susan, Peter, and Johnny. He turned to the woman, his tongue tied and his mouth going dry. She was beautiful and he hadn’t smiled in so long. “I’m Lewis, Darcy Lewis. And this is my band of Merry People! My people demand autographs to prove your defeat!”

A little boy jumped up and down, “AND PIGGY BACK RIDES!!!”

“You have been commandeered as James’ new ship! PIRATES ROLL OUT!” Steve spent the rest of the day with Darcy and the kids from the local hospital. They met each of the Avengers in turn, one girl even being so bold as to show Wanda the very special thing she could do. One call to Xavier’s School later and she had a home to go to when she got out of the hospital.

“Thanks so much for the assist, Capsicle.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem. You can come back by with them anytime you like!” He smiled down at her, hoping against hope the next time she came back she might stay for dinner or maybe he could get her number.

“Oh, wow! Should I have gotten clearance for that? Oh shit, I'm sorry! Thor didn’t say anything about needing permission.” She made a face then turned and slid back into the secure compound. 

When he found her twenty minutes later she was in Jane Foster’s lab, holding a bowl of Kraft Dinner and shoveling forkfuls into the scientist's mouth every time she tried to speak. Two if she was trying to insist she would eat later. While he was still trying to figure out what was going on, Thor stepped around him. “Excuse me Steven. My Lady Jane and the Warrior Lady Darcy have arrived. I have missed them greatly.”

“Well, fuck me.” Steve whispered under his breath. “She lives here.”

* * *

Six weeks after S.H.I.E.L.D. had taken her baby, she came home. A small brown box simply addressed to DD Lewis. She tore it open to find her iPod safely inside along with a note. _You need to expand your horizons. Check out the new tunes._ He had loaded over a hundred classic rock songs onto her iPod. Most of them were really good. Holy Diver she could have done without.

Clint slid into the safe house, pulling the snow caked scarf from his face. One thing about S.H.I.E.L.D. was the fact that it never got boring. The burning sands of New Mexico had given way to a frozen glacier, where they were currently recovering the ship that had been Captain America’s home for seventy years. Coulson was waiting. “I just came to pick up the Captain, thought I would drop this off. It was marked urgent.” Clint tore the wrapping off without much ceremony and stared down at a tiny plastic Christ figure sitting in the box with a note.  _ I don’t care if it rains or freezes so long as I got my plastic Jesus sittin' on the dashboard of my car! _ Beneath the paper was a DVD of Cool Hand Luke. Clint smiled. Two could play at that game.

The next package had a stamp in a Cyrillic script that she couldn’t decipher but she yanked it open without much more thought. Inside was a Russian nesting doll on top of a note.  _ Bitch I got layers I love that movie! _

By the time the next package arrived, it had been weeks since it was sent. It had gone through a thousand security channels and been opened, scanned and poked twice as many times before it finally reached him at the black site. Inside was a small hand fan with LED’s down the blades. When he flipped it on it scrolled a single message over and over.  _ Like a parfait? Everybody likes parfait! _

The packages flew back and forth. Sometimes they were related, sometimes not. Usually they were just wild or stupid things they found that made them giggle. Darcy got glasses with ladies whose clothes faded when a cold drink was put inside. Clint got a remote controlled Fart Machine. A pocket sized working cannon, a Lego strip club, a Darth Vader toaster that burned the Sith Lord’s head into the side of your toast, and a book of jokes guaranteed to offend everyone in the room if you read it back to front, were sent back and forth. A pocket sized guide on how to live with the guilt of being a Government Flunky hand written and illustrated by Darcy Lewis was one of Clint’s favorites. Darcy would cut you over her keychain ready Sriracha Bottle.

They had been friends of a sort for some time but it was very much a surface thing. Just someone to tell bad jokes to. In the wake of New York he hadn’t expected her to seek him out, much less manage to find him. But there she was, wriggling ass over teakettle through an access shaft into his little nest.

Clint just wanted to be alone. He had hurt his friends... He had lost himself to the monster inside. “By Thor, this has been a shit week hasn’t it! I mean, first I found out they discontinued my Passion Plum lipstick then I learn Thor the God of Pains in my ass CAME TO EARTH AND NEVER SAID A WORD TO JANE! Then I get back and I’m like OH EM GEE I can give the dip doodle his present in person! Then I can’t find you anywhere because you're hiding like a pussy bitch.”

“Double D I’m really not in the mood. Don’t mind if you fuck off either.”

Darcy gasped, “ME? Fuck off? I would never ever! That’s something government shills do!” Her hand dove into her bag and she pulled out a Tupperware and a canteen. She shoved both at him before diving back in and pulling out a set of chopsticks with tiny hands on the ends. “RAWRS! I have little grabby hands! Ahhhh! Oh no! Not little hands!” She poked him with them several times and he couldn’t help but agree they were incredibly creepy. He loved them.

“Thank you, Darcy. But I’d really like to be alone.” He took them from her and laid them beside him, where his bow should have been. He just didn’t trust himself right now.

“You know what I really wanted? MY IPOD YOU THIEVING THIEVER!” She pulled out her own set of chopsticks and popped the top of the container. “Dude seriously Jane’s all like OH my boy friend! Oh my research! Oh Darcy Look at all the beautiful data I just wanna have an affair with the data it’s so sexy! But we’re in Stark Tower so there’s like a thousand and one people who actually have degrees to do my job and I keep getting pushed out.” Darcy trailed off, getting lost in the distance for a second. “What if Jane doesn’t need me anymore? What if she doesn’t want me to keep hanging around because she has people who can do the job for realz and she forgets me?”

“She’s never gonna forget you, Darcy. You’re her best friend. She’ll notice you're missing the first time she passes out from low blood sugar and she falls and hits her head then goes into a coma. It will be all your fault too. Your friends are gonna get hurt and it’s going to be your fault.” He reached for the Tupperware and pulled the top off, only to get his hand slapped.

“Look here, you self hating little shit. We are here to discuss my problems, not yours! No one cares if big bad Hawkeye feels bad for himself. Joy cookies are only for people who help me with MY Problems. You giant whiner.” Darcy snatched the Tupperware back and shoved the canteen at him. “I have Asgardian ale for whiny piss babies who want to feel bad for themselves. It’ll get you drunk enough to run naked through a very boring Astrophysics summit. Believe me, I know. This is the last of what the Warriors Three left the last time they were here. It’s a bad idea unless you wanna be really drunk, so what is it? Your whiny baby problems or my very real lipstick shortage.”

She laid a choice before him, distraction or confession. He reached for the cookies. “Ok, so tell me about your lipstick.” And she did, she complained for hours about simple mundane things. She called them joy cookies and she was right. They were warm and gooey and delicious, filled with flavors he couldn’t place. Secretly, he hid one and would later bring it to the lab for analysis. He was sure that there was something in there. Most likely Asgardian magic or drugs. He found neither. Their only magic was the faith inspired by her insistence they were made of pure joy.

She didn’t want anything from him. She didn’t want to make him talk or linger on the horrid reality of the world outside. She just reminded him the world went on only because they kept fighting to keep it going. When the cookies were eaten and the Ale gently sipped, she had planted her head in his lap and he had been combing his fingers through her hair.

“You know, who ever she is I hope she knows I don’t have any designs on you. Janey thinks I’m hitting on you but I’m really not, I promise. I just needed a friend who could get past the fact that I know a God.” Darcy turned her head in his lap, using his knee to scratch her nose by wiggling her face against him.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” He muttered softly.

“Wife, then.”

“Why do you think I’m married?” Clint had been so careful they weren’t mentioned anywhere. There was no way to track them. Nothing to tie his family back to him. How did one girl figure it out?

“Because you don’t stare at my tits. You go out of your way to mention them or tease me about them but you never look unless you’re doing it on purpose.” She gave one giant yawn. “That’s how I know you love her. You forget to look.” And with that she was asleep. He laughed softly under his breath and a week later Darcy received a delivery. Five thousand, six hundred and four tubes of Passion Plum lipstick. The attached note simply stated: _Sometimes I wonder what life is like for SHIELD interns. 'Hey kid, hit every drugstore on the east coast looking for this lipstick and buy every tube you find. It's mission critical. Oh and get me a Frosty while you're out, chocolate not vanilla.' Seriously DD who the hell would eat a Vanilla Frosty? That's just WRONG!_

* * *

Steve couldn’t breathe. The air was thick, like trying to breathe water and it felt as if he was suffocating. He frantically pushed the blankets down and away, trying to find a position where his chest would just open and he could breathe again. His vision was going black around the edges when something shifted just barely and he started coming back to himself. “Breathe. Come on man, breathe.” Bucky traced slow steady circles on Steve’s back until his breath came easily again. Strong arms pulled him back into Bucky’s chest and they sat upright, leaned back together in the bed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I know you gotta work first thing.” Steve felt terrible but he wouldn’t have traded those moments for anything. Bucky was all he had. He was his best friend and Steve had never known anything so precious and amazing in all his life.

Steve was nearly asleep again when Bucky spoke. “Hey punk, you still awake?”

“Yeah Buck, I’m awake.”

“You know I love you, punk.”

“Yeah ya big stupid jerk, I know. I love you too.” Bucky hugged him a bit tighter.

“Try to get some sleep punk, I've got you. I'm with you till the end of the line.”

* * *

Exhaustion dragged Bucky into sleep that night. It had been a big day. That morning, he had woken to pain and the certainty of death. Then Steve had shown up. He was different. He had changed so much, Bucky had barely recognized his best friend. But they had made it out. Things were different. He knew that the moment they walked back into the camp and he saw the way the others treated Steve. They finally saw the man Bucky knew had always been there. They finally saw the boy he had fallen in love with. He wasn’t going to need Bucky anymore.

When he woke, it took a second to realize that the screaming was coming from his own mouth and the fire was long gone. He thrashed hard against the bonds that held him down and they loosened slightly. “I’m here Bucky, I’m here. Nobody’s gonna hurt you, I’ve got you. You’re safe, just breathe.”

“Stevie?” His voice was weaker than he liked but Steve just pulled him tight into a hug and let him cry.

“Yeah Buck, it’s me.” Bucky lay back and Steve nudged him over. He crawled into the cot beside him, being the big spoon for once. Time passed. Bucky wasn’t sure if it was minutes or hours before the whisper came.

“Hey jerk, you still awake?”

“I am now, punk.”

“You know I love you, right?”

Bucky’s heart leapt into his throat. “Yeah punk, I know. I love you too. Get some sleep, hero. I'm with you till the end of the line.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I DEFF have one more chapter in me specfically about the Dance and bringing the three together... I promise nothing else... Just the dance and closing the deal on the OT3 but no promises outside of that...
> 
> Have I mentioned how much I love my Beta? Because I love my beta. She is a beautiful wonderful perfect lovely thing and you should all love her too because my grammar is HORRID Seriously if this is the first time you've read this then I am so happy for you. If it's not then thank you


	5. Engage Phase Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *looks at chapter then turns to muse* What the fuck is this?  
> *Muse raises one eyebrow* It's a plot Kathleen, You remember plot right. You used to use them.  
> Yes, I know what plot is but it's not FUNNY!!!  
> Look I don't give a shit this is what I wrote publish it I'm going back to screaming over the new CACW trailer and all of these CACW videos that [SecretlyToDream](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEa-3srdVUbaBPFFtt3ImQ) made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHUSH!!! STOP LOOKING AT THE CHAPTER COUNT!!!  
> Seriously this thing has a planned story on where it's going and how it's getting there it is just taking a bit longer with a few more detours than anticipated. Blame MsDamia for bringing up Nat... She wasn't even supposed to be in this one... Then Corporal O'Rilley showed up...

 

The idea was now so deeply in his head that Steve couldn’t be sure it wasn’t always there, just beneath the surface. His mind kept going back to the kiss in the kitchen, the feel of Darcy wrapping herself around him in a full body hug. His thoughts would linger on the weight and warmth of Bucky’s hand on his arm or his back. Then he thought about the reality of dating them both. He waffled back and forth over the next few days. Bucky didn’t say another word about it, leaving Steve without an opening. Friday morning he returned from his run and started the coffee up. After a few moments, he glanced at the clock. It was going on nine, Darcy should be up by now. In fact, unless he was wrong about her schedule, she had somewhere to be in half an hour.

Carefully he knocked on Bucky’s door. There was a groan from inside and he eased the door open. The pair were a tangle of sheets and limbs as they slept together. Gently, he reached down and shook her arm. “Darcy, Darcy it’s nine. Sweetheart, you’ve got to get up.” She sat up suddenly and glared at him bleary eyed.

“It’s nine?”

“Yeah, it’s the third Friday of the month and it’s nine. Don’t you have one of those things?” Sudden shock drove her from the bed, scrambling for clothes.

“Oh my god, I am gonna be so late.” Snatching up the things she had worn last night, she dove into the bathroom that connected the bedrooms. Bucky just grinned up at him from the bed.

“You know her schedule?”

“Shut up, jerk. I know everyone who has regular appointments to leave the base. It’s part of my job of keeping everyone safe and put some damn pants on.” He threw a pair at Bucky before heading back into the kitchen.

Soon Darcy was rushing out toward the front door. Before she could make it, Steve pressed a thermos into her hands. “Coffee. I’ve got some cheese danish and a banana for you, too. Have a good day.” That was when he knew. When she looked up at him and smiled. That’s what he wanted… every day he wanted this feeling of taking care of them.

“Thank you, Steve.” Her voice was soft and gentle and it was everything he wanted. He wanted her to look at him like that again.

Without another word, Darcy disappeared through the door. Moments later, Bucky stepped up behind him. “You fixed her breakfast and got her up. Any other big moves up your sleeve? Gonna walk her mother to the store?”

“No, thinking about kissing her boyfriend though.”

“She’s uh, she’s not here to see that.”

Steve turned and took the longest step of his life into Bucky. “It’s not for her. Someone told me recently that someone I’ve loved since 1928 might not object to being kissed.”

When they finally pulled apart, Steve’s heart was beating like he’d just run fifteen miles. It was sweeter than kissing Peggy or any of the USO girls. There was something more there. At the same time, it didn’t feel right. “Bucky, I just want you to know. If this is what you want, I want to give it a try but...” When Steve paused, Bucky wanted to personify the pause and stab it until it’s own mother was afraid to bring it up. “This isn’t right. You're with Darcy. It feels like you're stepping out on her. I can’t do that, to either of you. If she actually wants the two of us I’m all in but I can’t go behind her back, Buck. I’ll wait for you if it doesn’t work out. I love you in ways I don’t even understand but I won’t ask you to be that guy.”

* * *

Darcy ran into the nursing home, danish hanging out of her mouth. She rushed into her senior’s dance class already ten minutes late. She came to a full stop when she saw her class already in session.

“Alright, you’re old not dead so I want everyone in on this. Even those in chairs can do this one so just follow along.” Natasha was in a yellow sundress, her hair pinned up and smiling widely at the twenty plus seniors who had gathered for the lessons. It was such a startling sight she just stood and watched as the music began.

“It’s just a jump to the left, and a step to the right. With your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tight. But it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insaaaane.” The seniors danced and laughed and smiled as Nat moved among them, making her way to the back of the room where Darcy stood. She pulled the younger woman into a tight hug.

“Morning sleepy head. Did he finally let you go?” The pair exchanged kisses to each cheek and Darcy blushed.

“I didn’t set the alarm. Steve actually woke me up.” Nat arched a brow at her and snatched the thermos. “Made you coffee too, if his old man thermos is anything to go by.” Darcy tried to grab it back but it was too late. Nat had the top off and gave it a sniff, arching a brow at her. “He made you the cinnamon coffee. Did he put cream and sugar in it for you, too?”

“Shut up. We have marriage proposals to turn down and a dance class to teach.”  
The two finished the class and the nurses invited Nat to come back any time. As was Darcy’s custom, they stayed for lunch and visited just a bit longer. Nat grabbed their trays while Darcy made the rounds, saying hello and checking on all her friends. She found a mostly empty table and slid in beside an older gentleman sitting alone. “How long have you known Miss Lewis?”

Nat graced him with her sweetest smile. “A few years now. She’s one of my best friends.”

“Something you don’t have many of it sounds. She’s a good girl. Handsome young man she’s got too.” He gave Nat an exaggerated wink.

Natasha laughed. “You’ve met her boyfriend?”

“Mmm, once. November 3rd, 1943. Promised us he knew what he was doing. He had punched out Hitler over two hundred times.” The man laughed softly, accompanied by a wheezing sound. “He used to follow that RAF dame around like that too.”

“Who do you think she’s dating?” Nat was suddenly sure she had missed something.

“Steven Rogers. Saw her in the papers with another boy but I don’t believe it for a moment. Saw the way she looked at the Captain. Saw the way he looked at her too. No way she was steppin' out with anyone else.” Nat smiled indulgently at the old man. There was no way Darcy and Steve had ever been anything more than friends. She would have seen it. He was just misinterpreting Darcy being Darcy.

“Actually they're not together. She’s seeing a friend of mine, James. If you want to see two people in love you should see them together.”

“Well, that’s a mighty shame. Seen a lot in my life. Seen hate, seen love, seen a lot in between and I tell you what, he loved her and she loved him. Ain’t seen love like that since Mary passed ten years back. Everything he lost, he deserves someone to love him like that.” It was a sincere wish and coming from a man who had known Steve so long ago made it settle heavily on Natasha. She watched Darcy move among the tables, handing out hugs. Maybe if Nat had paid more attention she would have seen it but she was happy with Bucky and that wasn’t something she had any intention of meddling in.

Well, maybe just a little. She needed to be sure that Bucky wasn’t going to screw it up for Steve later if it didn’t work out.

* * *

“Where do you think you're going? Shouldn’t you be in that little black number getting ready to dance holes in Darcy’s shoes for charity?” Natalia had managed to sneak up on him while he was preparing Stage Two of the ‘everyone I love together’ plan.  
“I’ll make it. I’ve just got to take care of something real quick. I’ll be back before anyone even notices I’m missing.” Bucky slid another clip of ammo into his vest and rechecked his knives.

“OR, you could keep your promise and be there for your girl instead of getting armed like you’re about to go take down half of Hydra. You have two choices: you go back up, get dressed for your little dance and you take your girl out or I come with you and make sure you get there on time.” Natalia grinned at him and he began to weigh his options. Topping the list right now was knocking her out and leaving her tied up somewhere.

* * *

“Wait, so let me see if I understand this right. You’re in love with BOTH Steve and Darcy.”

“Yup.”

“And Steve loves Darcy and as far as you're aware the only reason she's not throwing herself at him is because she’s with you.”

“Yup.” Bucky took a long swing and passed Nat back the bottle.

“You realize this has a massive chance of blowing up in your face, right?” Natalia took a long drink and kicked a rat away from where it had gotten bold enough to sniff at her toes. They were hiding in the sewers and forcing Steve to fill in to try and break down the wall of awkward the two had put up since Bucky had begun his game. “You’re a brave man. Stupid, but brave. What happens if Steve decides to take off after you? You’re missing, as far as he’s concerned. What if he chooses you over Darcy?”

Bucky paused at that. “Gonna have to call him I guess. Pretend I’m actually tied up with something that he doesn’t have to worry about me over. Punk worries too much.”

“Tell you what, I’ve actually got something. A bit of chatter about them trying to reboot the weapon program. I could use a hand, just one though so you’ll do fine.”

Bucky snorted and grabbed the bottle of vodka back. “Which one in particular? You’ve been a bit of a bitch to the left, that EMP gave me shit for days.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also... Marvel is doing things to my feels and I'm not sure I'm gonna make it. I think their gonna fukkin kill me before I ever set foot in a theater. Seriously this shit here.  
> [Another Lie From the Front Lines](https://youtu.be/hiBkbcn8v_Y)


	6. Bucky Barnes is a Katy Perry Fan (Who knew?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this at 2 am and loaded it up into the drafts (mostly because I didn't want to spoil you and so It's holding to be published halfway through Sunday) so forgive the lack of witty remarks

 

She was perfect. Steve was well aware he was supposed to be watching the crowd but his eyes kept going back to Darcy. Her glasses were swapped for a cat eyed pair and her dress a simple pink halter made her skin appear delicate as a china doll. Her curls were delicately pinned on top of her head. She paced and chewed her lower lip as Bucky became later and later with each passing minute. He watched the official approach as his phone rang. Turning slightly to keep one ear on what she was being told, he answered.

“Where the hell are you?” Steve hissed.

_‘_ __ Miss we’re very sorry but if your partner isn’t here you need to step out of the contest. It is a dance-a-thon and it wouldn’t be fair to the others if he started later.’ _ _

“I’m a little tied up right now Punk. This was not the simple thing Nat told me it was.” Steve could hear an explosion in the background.

“Are you two getting blown up!?” He hissed into the phone.

_‘_ __ Look how much of a donation do I have to make to delay this thing an hour. I’ll give you what. Two, three million dollars.’ _ _

“No. That was Nat blowing the door. Problem is we’re too far in to back out it’s just taking longer to get through than we thought. She said she could pick the doors but she’s rusty. I’ve been having to build charges to get through and THERE’S MORE DOORS THAN SOMEONE SAID THERE WOULD BE!”

“You made a promise Jerk.”

_‘_ __ Tony, stop. He’ll be here. He has to be. He just needs another minute. Please.’ _ _

“I’m not gonna make it Steve. Just, tell her I’m sorry.”

Steve’s phone snapped in his hand. He tossed it into a waiting trash bin. He’d get Pepper to activate a new one tomorrow. It would only be his third this week, one more wasn’t going to make a difference with her concern for whatever had him wound up. He wasn’t letting Darcy down.

He plucked Bucky’s assigned number from the official’s hand. “Sorry. We’re all good here. You ready to go?”

Darcy smiled at him and something deep inside his heart leapt. “You uh, you would have to lose the hat and glasses. It’s not like you’re gonna be able to lay low.”

Steve tossed Jane the cap, glasses, and his jacket. “Care to pin this thing on me?”

“Steve, Bucky’s not coming is he?”

“He’s safe, but he and Nat aren’t gonna make it back anytime soon. May I have this dance?” He reached for her, his hand hovering between them like his hopes waiting for her to take them both. Gently her fingers slid into his and they stepped onto the floor as the music began.

* * *

“Natalia, I thought you said there shouldn’t be anyone down here.” He ducked back behind the door frame, away from the hail of gunfire.

“It was supposed to be empty. It’s been abandoned for months!” Natalia rolled out and returned fire, taking down three of the attackers before being forced to cover once more.

“You know. It could have SOMETHING to do with the EXPLOSIONS WE’VE BEEN SETTING OFF! What in the… Do they have a FUCKING RAIL GUN! OH HELL NO! Nat, grab my pack I should have some grenades in there!”

* * *

“You don’t know the routine. Oh my god, you don’t know the routine. We’re fucked. Do you know any dances? Maybe we can work something out in the next half hour.” Bucky had always been the dancer. Steve never bothered to learn when he was young because he could never find a partner. Then the memory of the dance he owed Peggy hung heavy every time it had come up since he’d woken up.

“I’ve seen the two of you go over it a few times. I think I’ve got the steps down. Besides, the only part where I’ve got a lot to do is near the end and I can just fake it and flash the smile that sold a million War Bonds!” He grinned at her and Darcy laughed.

“You’re really gonna try? I mean seriously, I’m counting at least six new reporters since the last time we counted. We can still bow out of this with your dignity intact.”

“And leave my best girl without a partner? I’d rather you broke up with me in the middle of the Housewares department.” He gave her a quick spin and a dip as flashbulbs went off all around the edge of the dance floor.

The others were watching the crowd. Scott was even popping into people's bags to make sure that the cameras weren’t actually guns. There was no point in the rest even trying to hide once Steve was recognized.

To deflect some of the attention, Tony made a generous contribution to the children’s charity they were raising money for. Jane had kindly explained that Darcy was actually her lab assistant, who after her recent break up, was left without a partner and Steve had generously stepped up. Thor stood behind her the entire time informing, in a very princely tone, anyone saying anything that wasn’t about the event that they were here to support a friend in their charitable endeavors. Perhaps the reporter should consider covering the actual event. Sam and Rhodey posed for pictures and Wanda kept a snipers perch since the only other ranged fighters were M.I.A. Some part of him wondered what the headlines would look like tomorrow. If they said one bad word about her, he wasn’t above calling the offending paper a gossip rag on live television.

* * *

Their first break came while one of the other pairs performed their set routine. One hand carefully in the small of her back, Steve guided her to the punch bowl. He got them both cups and watched their competition, their classic waltz couldn’t compare if he could manage to pull off the planned routine.

“Do you think he’s actually ok?” Steve startled and looked down at Darcy, who once again worried her lip between her teeth. He tugged it down with the pad of his thumb.

“Stop that, you’re eating your lipstick. And I’m sure he’s fine. You wanna call him?” He reached for his phone before remembering it was a shattered wreck in the trash and she didn’t exactly have any pockets in the dress.

She nodded softly and before he could admit he didn’t have a phone, Scott burst back to full size between them. “Wow, you two look awesome out there. I mean seriously, if I didn’t know better I’d think you guys were together. Great chemistry! Your purse my lady!” He unzipped the suit and pulled a small pink clutch out from where it had been tucked against his chest. Steve couldn’t help the sudden surge of jealousy that burst to life inside of him.

“Thank you! Oh and you think you can manage to steal me some of those nifty little crab puffs next time they come out? Because if your particular skill set can’t be used to steal the good snacks then I am done with you. I’ll kick you out of the Avengers.”

“Sweetheart, you can’t kick him out of the Avengers.”

“Fine. I’ll just wait till the next time Janey opens a portal and throw him through. Wonder which of the nine realms you’ll land in? Just hope it’s not the dead one 'cause that place is CREEPY!” She tugged her phone out of her purse and put the call through.

* * *

“I’ll be fine, just get the information so we can get the fuck out of here.” Bucky wrapped the tourniquet tighter on his thigh before digging for something to destroy the pool of blood he was leaving behind. Hydra already had enough of his D.N.A. he didn’t need to leave any for A.I.M. to come and snatch up so they could start their own super soldier program.

_‘_ __ Baby you’re a FIREWORK! Come on make your colors burst! Make em’ go AH AH AH!’ _ _

“What the hell is that!?” Nat’s head shot up over the computer console.

“Shut the fuck up, it’s my phone.” He fished it out and answered without stopping his attempts to dig the bullet out of his thigh. “Hey Mishka! I’m so, so, so sorry. This was only supposed to take like, five minutes. Yeah, everything’s great the doors just took a little more effort than we expected. We should be ready to start heading back in about fifteen minutes. Is that right? Tell the punk I said thank you. He knows it’s his job to take care of our best girl so don’t go lettin' him think he did some huge favor or nothin'. Call me at the next break.” Bucky hung the phone up and slid it back into his pocket as he finished packing the bullet hole.

“You know, it’s actually very disturbing that you can have a completely normal conversation while pulling a .45 out of your upper thigh.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know anymore how long this is going to be... I always assume I'm almost done and then I don't quite get there. So rest assured I'll keep moving the total chapters back by one until I feel it's actually hit a good closing point. I mean I do have other works I need to look after. Let's not even address the poor neglected Werewolves...


	7. We Danced, The music played we held each other close, And we Danced.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Nat play the creepy game and Darcy and Steve Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know your looking for someone to blame as to where I have been. So I give you the culprit.  
>   
>   
> The first is the light of my life and my fur baby who has been so damn snuggly I typed 90% of this chapter with one hand since the cat demanded snuggles.  
> The second is the reason you should NEVER EVER EVER give someone your Nudes. Because I have my husband's girlfriends nudes and despite her attacks on myself and my personal appearance I have no intention to do anything with them. Her name is Kitty. The reason this is here is because I don't know what will become of my 10 year marriage. More to the point it's here because when I found out I mistakenly thought she didn't know. I thought this person was another victim of the lies.  
> As it turns out she wasn't and she decided to attack me on a very personal level. So now I'll put her face anywhere I like. Unlike her I have morals about how I treat other people I will not do anything with the pornographic materials she sent my husband.  
> But please remember that every time you put something out there EVERY SINGLE TIME it is out there forever. It can be accessed by anyone or everyone. Please for god sakes be safe with your bodies.
> 
> TL;DR  
> My Cat was super cuddly and wouldn't let me write properly and my husband had an affair.

 

They were two hours in and Darcy felt she was doing rather well keeping her idle thoughts to herself. She had managed to teach Steve the Carlton and they had been working on the footwork for the solo they were going to have to perform. In less than five minutes, any sense of personal space was going to disappear and her heart was going to race a million miles a minute.

Her crush on Steve had been about as solid as her crush on her eighth grade math teacher. Then she had started seeing Bucky and little things started pushing him deeper under her skin. No matter where her shoes landed, they were always next to the door in the morning. It started in the bathroom, towels started appearing that Bucky informed her Steve would kill him if he touched, they were for her so she didn’t ever have to pull one off the floor. Then there was the kitchen. Steve and Bucky barely cooked and never baked but slowly things started appearing, a spice rack, more pans, random ingredients filled out the shelves. Even a set of Hello Kitty measuring cups landed in a drawer. He had started making coffee in the kitchen when she slept over, adding cinnamon to the grounds since she had fallen in love with it the first time she had stolen his cup. Steve was working his way into her heart and not just her fantasies. The last person she had loved that way had led to a never ending unpaid internship.

“Sweetheart, we need to get in place. You alright? You look like you’re a million miles away. Do I need to send someone to track down Bucky and Nat?” Steve tucked a curl back behind her ear and for just a moment the world fell away as his fingertips sat gently behind her ear in the barest of touches. There was more in his eyes – a whisper of longing that broke her heart.

“No, he’s a big boy. I’m sure he’ll be ok. We need to dance after all.”

* * *

“You know, it’s creepy when you pretend your zipper just magically started moving down all on it’s own over the course of a fight.” Bucky hissed back, as another volley came in over their heads.

Natalia rolled her eyes and fished a small flash bang out before popping up and flinging it down the hall, temporarily disabling the oncomers. “You know, it's extra creepy with a side of creepy fries when you lurk in the labs. You’ve caused six assistants to quit because they're terrified of you and all your creepy lurk.”

Bucky popped up and dropped shots into the staggered goons. “I scare people. You’re the creeper who had Darcy installing trip wires outside the window. A civilian shouldn’t be that paranoid.”

* * *

The lights fell away and Darcy stepped forward, taking Steve’s hand as the first strains of music began. <a href="https://youtu.be/l9BbUqHrWFI">Now I had the time of my life</a> He dipped her and she curled back up into his arms. When his fingers slid across her side, she melted back into him. He dropped a kiss on her forehead before spinning her out and her heart nearly burst. Darcy was thankful for the hours and hours of practice. Without them, she never would have kept pace with the steps for the pounding of her heart. Steve held nothing back as his hips rocked into hers and he laughed at the rising blush on her cheeks. They twisted and turned their way through the steps of the Cha Cha until the moment of truth came. She paused as he beckoned to her, calling her into the jump. A jump they had never practiced. She called to mind the dozens of attempts that had left her and Bucky sprawled across the mat, barely avoiding disaster. _Trust me_ , he mouthed at her and she did. She rushed into his arms and he hoisted her up. She was soaring for a moment before he caught her again. His hands splayed out warm across her belly and a curling warmth spread through her before he lowered her down, stealing a kiss as she dragged down along his front. Her feet had barely touched the floor before her senses came rushing back to her.

She spoke in one rapid breath as the truth exploded out of her. “I’m in love with Bucky.” And there it was, she loved him with all her heart and whatever was going on between her and Steve needed to stop. It couldn’t possibly happen, because she was in love with his best friend.

“He seemed to be under the impression you were in love with cheese fries.” Darcy relived in horror the moment she had leaped into his arms and nearly declared her love for him. “Yeah well, I love chili dogs in a very real way. I want to eat chili dogs forever. Oh my god… I want to eat chili dogs forever. I want chili cheese dogs someday. And if chili dogs want to be a combo platter with fries then I just want him to be happy. Oh my god I’ve got it bad.” Darcy swallowed hard around the lump in her throat. It as an odd moment to realize that one was in love. Wrapped in the arms of your boyfriend’s best friend right after he kissed you was a terrible place for an epiphany.

“So, you’re cheese in this scenario?” Steve smiled softly down at her laughter in his eyes.

“Steven, I am well aware my metaphor is ridiculous. Instead, why don’t we address the fact that you just kissed your best friend’s girl in front of forty two reporters with cameras. Hmmm? How do you think that’s gonna play in the papers tomorrow? 'Cap Moves In On Hawkeye’s Ex!' 'Capsicle Has No Respect For The Bro Code!' 'Darcy Lewis Has Fallen In Love With A Cyborg Ex-Assassin And His Bestie Is Making Moves After Months Of Ignoring Her!'” There was a softness and a gentleness in Steve’s arms as he pulled Darcy close, calming the panic rising in her with her racing thoughts. She hadn’t known until that moment she loved Bucky. It surprised her as much as it delighted her. She loved him. With all her heart. She wanted everything for them. She wanted a family and a life and a happily ever after that people like them didn’t get to see.

“You never told him that, did you?” Steve whispered into her ear, as their solo slid into the next dance and the others joined them back on the floor.

“No, I don’t think I really knew until just now. As long as I have dreamed of kissing you and amazing as it was, I was only thinking about how much I loved him and how I was betraying him. I don’t know how to love you both at once.”

“He thinks you're only with him because he was as close as you could get to me. He knew I’d been crazy about you for a while. Had this crazy idea too, seeing as apparently I’m blind and didn’t ever realize how much he loved me too.”

“Steve, I am completely ok with the kitchen kissing. I just want him to be happy. I’d give anything to make him happy.” Darcy could feel Steve’s arms tighten around her.

“He wanted the three of us to make a go at it. He thought if you loved me and I loved you we might like him enough to let him stay. I just want you to know if that’s not what you want I’m ok with stepping back but I will absolutely have to move because I can’t keep listening to you talk about all of the things you want me to do to you. I’m going to sprain the shield arm.” Darcy could feel the rising heat in her cheeks and buried her face into Steve’s chest.

“Oh sweet Thor, this isn’t helping. You're made of velvet and marble. How? I mean are we that loud? We’re not that loud are we?” Steve chuckled and Darcy swore she could feel his chest move beneath her cheek.

“I believe he told you it was your call if you wanted to invite anyone else in but I’m pretty sure that was a completely different conversation. About acrobats or something?”

* * *

“Cap just kissed your girlfriend on the dance floor in front of half the nation’s fluff piece reporters. You know, the ones that usually are following me around trying to catch me doing coke off a hooker’s ass again?”

Clint juggled the phone to his other shoulder while artfully dodging a urine projectile from the youngest Barton. “He doesn’t seem the type to move in like that. Isn’t she rolling the psycho? I mean, that’s a pretty big thing there. Hold on one sec.” Clint got the fresh diaper on and dialed in Nat.

“Trouble in paradise or is Nathan not sleeping? Does Auntie Nat need to sing her little prince to sleep?”

“Fuck Nat, what the hell? Is this what you’re like when you get all maternal? I have never been more afraid of you.”

“Stark, I have many things to show you to prove how afraid you should be what are you doing calling me with Clint?”

“Nat, Cap kissed Darcy in front of a bunch of reporters. Is the psycho dick weed gonna get all shitty about it? You know him best, what’s the play here?” Two steps ahead of Nat, Bucky came to a complete stop and turned slowly.

“How did Darcy take it? That’s probably going to have a lot to do with it. Because if she slapped him, I will cut his kidneys out and see if the serum will regrow them.” Nat held a finger up at Bucky, who had started to lean toward her unconsciously.

“She looked like Darcy. But if you ask my professional opinion of women who have recently been kissed? She’s trying to keep her face away from him.”

Nat watched Bucky wince. Clint heard volumes in Nat’s silence. Tony… was simply Tony. “I have done my due diligence. I just wanted you to know your fake ex is actually kissing Captain America. I’m out losers.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the portion of Sprokets where you may notice the chapter count is no longer moving up by one.  
> That's because by the original storyline there should only have been one more chapter.  
> Then at three AM over a pint of Ben and Jerrys and a Bottle of Arbor Mist (recipe for a tummy ache do not recommend unless you hate yourself) I had this idea of Darcy getting a letter listing her infractions and spent so long giggling I decided to extend a new story arc... You're welcome.


	8. Finding ways to say it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone called this a dead fic! I promise nothing is TRULY dead until it gets moved to my abandoned works profile AbandonedbySSB(sightsoblind) I will admit Avoidance is MOSTLY DEAD to quote Miracle Max. I'm just having trouble finding that voice again.   
> The Original works are on Hiatus again. (This happens often with those I'm sorry)  
> This is almost wrapped. *Crosses fingers*

Bucky ducked back into the shared apartment with a ball of lead in the pit of his stomach. He'd gotten an earful from Nat about how he'd gone about it completely the wrong way. Hanging from a string in the middle of the hall was a disc rotating slowly, Darcy's handwriting clear across the front. “Play Me!” He plucked it down and moved to the video player. Strains of classical music came from the speakers with Darcy's voice.

“Something pretty and classical. Like, whatever it was Hank was listening to the last time he was here. That was pretty. A waterfall in the background with the title of this video across the front.” As she spoke, the waterfall appeared as if her words had brought it to life and one by one letters wrote themselves across the screen. 'Polyamory and You!' Darcy walked in from off the side and sat down. 

“After a very confusing evening, someone finally told me what was going on. You are interested in dating both Steve and very pretty self. I can not blame you. I am an awesome girlfriend after all.” She flashed a smile at the camera and a breath he had been holding all night finally let go. 

“Polyamory, from the Greek p _ oly _ meaning many and a _ mor _ meaning love, is the act of being in several meaningful relationships at one time. This is where you get to date Steve and me. If Steve wants to date me too, we will discuss that separately. Any relationship I end up having with him has nothing to do with the one I have with you. You're not a consolation prize Bucky. I want you. I want to be with YOU! I'm so sorry in ways I can't even begin to say.” She paused for a moment and looked like she was going to cry before a metal arm pushed a box of tissues at her hard enough to crush them into her side. 

“Thanks Dummy. I'm OK though.” It dropped them on her before pulling back out of the shot slowly. “I'm sorry if I made you feel like I wasn't in this for you. You’re funny and sweet and even when you’re doing the silent sulky thing, you've got eyes on everything. I feel safe anytime you’re around, I worry when you're late. I wonder what our kids would be like. I mean obviously they would be amazingly beautiful, look at us. But I still wonder because I want that for us. I want a future where we're together. I'm not asking for forever or a white picket fence. I want you to know that when you come home, I'm waiting for you. Not anyone else. Ok ,so I wait for Thor too, but you know that's because he's gonna make Janey a princess of an alien nation and he just can not fuck that up for her by getting killed by some crazy space worm in Hammer Tech gear. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love you. Just you and all the crazy shit that comes with it. Steve very sweetly bought me a milkshake and I rode back to the bunker with him, but I don't think I'm ready to go jumping into bed with someone I just started dating. He's waiting for you, if you're interested, in his room. I gave him a primer and some reading materials on how two men can make sweet, sweet love to each other. Seriously, if you fuck him, you need to give me details. It's hot thinking of you kissing him. Everything you do is hot, let's just be honest with that for a moment. I'm just gonna, be around. I don't think I will be sleeping tonight, but I'll see you first thing in the morning. So, go kiss your boyfriend and whatever else it is you feel like.” She blew a kiss at the screen and then looked away from the camera. “Ok, now do a slow fade to black around that.” The edges of the screen started to turn black creeping toward the middle. 

“Get that printed and hanging somewhere on a little spinny thing where he's gonna run into it. Probably his rooms. Let's just pray he doesn't shoot it.” The screen finally faded out completely and the disc auto ejected. 

He just stared at the screen. It never failed to amaze him how much the world could change in an instant. Cutting down an alley and running into a kid without the sense to run away from a fight, stepping forward to keep them away from poor Ernie, hand slipping off a rail. His thoughts were pulled from their dark spiral by the sound of Steve clearing his throat.

“Hey, you hear your girl is making me take her out on real dates? She said she's not sure she wants to date me.” He stepped up behind and lay a gentle hand across the back of his neck.

“She said she loves me.” He took a deep breath continuing to stare at the screen gone black.

“Told me the same thing when I kissed her. Not the response I was expecting. Especially considering you were convinced you weren't the one she really wanted. Bucky, she's mad about you. If anyone is gonna be the nice bonus around here, it's starting to look like it will be me. Did you know she has a set of rules about what is and is not a date?” 

Bucky laughed and tilted his head back to look up at his best friend.

“Yeah, I've run afoul of them a few times myself. It's not a date if it's something you do all the time anyway or one of you had previously committed to and the other is tagging along.” 

He trailed off staring up at Steve. There was a blush in full bloom across his cheeks and his shirt was untucked and unbuttoned halfway down his chest. They'd sat around in their shirtsleeves enough as boys, but somehow this was different. There was a new gravity to the way Steve looked at him and faintly, he remembered something about Darcy giving him reading materials.

“So, someone said something about a primer?” Bucky's lip caught between his teeth when the blush spread further across Steve, drawing Bucky's eyes as it plunged beneath his neckline.

“Yeah, there was a very interesting conversation about all the ways I was and was not allowed to touch her boyfriend.” Steve's adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed hard.

Slowly, Bucky came to his knees on the couch turning to face Steve. There were only inches between them now and they seemed to get stuck in the moment. How many thousands of times had they found themselves in close quarters like this? Had the electricity always been there, or was it new? He felt like he was being pulled toward Steve and after long moments, fraction by fraction they drifted ever closer. Never so much that one leaned first or anyone could ever claim one or the other had begun the kiss, but soon enough their noses brushed and eyes drifted closed. Feather light, their lips met in soft butterfly kisses, until the slow pull of their bodies deepened the kiss, lips pulled between teeth, tongues brushing. Bucky's hands found their way to Steve's waist as his own tangled in Bucky's hair, fingers intertwining into long locks. It felt like an age and yet only a moment at once as they kissed until they were breathless. For over eighty years, the moment between them had built and neither was in a hurry to rush it along or end it quickly.

When they finally pulled back, a soft smile played across Steve's lips and Bucky's eyes were half closed. 

“We should...” The sentiment died on Steve's lips and Bucky wasn't sure if he was talking about pulling back or finding a better place.

He didn't wait to find out. “We can go to my room. My room mate gets a little irritated when I have dates on the couch. Something about making it smell like sex.” 

Steve laughed and Bucky's heart soared. Over the back of the couch he went, never letting go of the only man he'd ever loved. Small kisses were shared as they moved slowly down the hall. It was a dance of equals, neither leading or following. Twice, they stopped completely as the heat of their passions ignited higher, the first time, Bucky pinned Steve to the wall just needing to feel him closer to relish the heat of his body, to assure himself it was truly his friend even if he was taller than his dreams and his breath didn't wheeze uncomfortably when kissed long and hard. The second time, Steve slammed Bucky hard into the door to Bucky's room in response to cold fingers that had slid beneath the hem of his shirt. Strong hands tilted Bucky's head back as kisses were ranged down his neck and across his collarbone. Kissing, licking, tasting, needing. They pushed against each other there in the door frame.

Bucky could feel every inch of Steve's hardness pressed into his own and every time he shifted it sent an electric sensation up his spine. He tugged and pulled trying to get Steve's shirt off, giving up and just gripping it and ripping it away. It seemed like permission enough for Steve to return the favor, until their clothes were in tatters around them and laughing, they fell together into Bucky's bed.

Twenty minutes later, a moment of hesitation stopped Steve in his tracks. “Are you OK? Are we still OK?”

“Yeah, yeah, we just, oh fuck.” He leaned back in, hands exploring the naked length of his freshly minted boyfriend, claiming him in another kiss. “Fuck, we gotta take our socks off.”

“What?!?” Steve's confusion was understandable. After all, any sane person would never have stopped in that exact moment.

“Darcy hates it. Look, I'm sorry. She's the only person I've been with since...” He trailed off as he peeled his socks off, then went after Steve's, placing kisses along his calf. “I don't have words to explain how much she hates it. It makes me cringe.”

Once all the socks were gone and they were finally fully nude, Steve reached for Bucky, pulling him down to land on top. “I don't mind. I'm just glad you're here, with me, till the end of the line right?”

Bucky's breath caught in his throat and he could only nod. “Yeah, till the end of the line.” 

When Steve caught him again in a kiss Bucky knew, he wasn't the only one who meant, I love you.

 

* * *

 

Last night did nothing to alter their morning routine. Except for the fact that it wasn't Darcy in Bucky's bed, but Steve, and there was a lot less room. Steve still took his five minute military shower before setting the coffee up. Bucky simply rolled out of bed and right into his running shoes. They did their 10 miles before stopping into the usual cafe to grab pastries.

The usual girl was behind the counter and much to Steve's surprise, rather than a warm smile, she dropped the box and flatly gave him his total. “Twenty-two, forty- five.”

“Thank you! Everything OK this morning?” He was honestly worried for the girl. She was usually a ray of sunshine when he walked in.

“Yeah, thanks.” He paid and when he turned back toward Bucky, he couldn't help but notice the laughter playing across his face.

“What's got you so tickled?” 

Bucky handed him the paper where right across the front was a snap shot of him kissing Darcy. 'CAP FINDS LOVE! After all this time, has Captain America finally found his dance partner?'

“You made the front page.” He was all out laughing as Steve shoved a dollar across the counter for the paper. The scowl stayed on his face while he read as they walked back toward the bunker.

_ Steve Rogers was spotted last night at a charity dance off with Darcy Lewis. Sources close to the pair state they met while she was working for Thor's fianceé within the Avengers' support staff.  _

_ Between the generous donations provided by Tony Stark and the funds Rogers raised on his own,the pair raised over three million dollars for St. Jude's Cancer Research. Research suggests the Captain entered under a false name. The entrance paperwork listed James B. Barnes, the Captain paying homage to his long lost friend. Just before Press time, we did manage to reach out to Pepper Potts with Stark Industries who had this to say “If Darcy and Steve are seeing each other, this is the first I've heard about it. It's much more likely he was being a good friend (sic). That's just the kind of person Steve is.” _

__ _ Ms. Potts did decline to make a statement on the searing kiss the two shared. I was lucky enough to be in the audience, the pair performed the final dance from Dirty Dancing with undeniable chemistry, and the kiss should have left scorch marks on the floor. More pictures from the night are available on the online article, including a collection of reaction shots from their friends.   _

__ They slid into the bunker just as Steve finished the article. 

“She's gonna kill me.”

“Or make you waffles. She made me waffles when she and Hawkeye made the papers.”

Steve just shot him a glare. “Friday, Locate Darcy Lewis.”

“Miss Lewis has activated her privacy settings.”

“Override, Rogers Three One Zero One Seven.”

“Wait your override is my birthday?”

“Darcy already figured out my mom’s birthday and messed with it.”

“Override not accepted. Password changed three weeks ago.”

Steve dropped his head into the wall.

“She guessed my birthday too. You need a better password system.” Bucky leaned in and tugged at Steve's shirt. “Come on, let's get showered and changed then see if we can track her down. She might want coffee.”

The pair made their way back to their shared suite. The moment they entered, Bucky went on full alert. Steve had learned to trust his instincts and together they swept the rooms. Bucky's bed had been stripped and the sheets replaced. The coffee pot was half empty and a pair of clean mugs sat on the counter beside it. Darcy had clearly been there, but no longer. 

“Is this one of those times you should be tracking a girl down and making large overtures to be reassuring? Or is this one of those, let her be and wait for her to come around things?”

“You're still hopeless with dames pal. We go talk to her best friend.”

 

* * *

 

Jane was actually incredibly difficult to locate. Two hours of turning the compound upside down and they found neither hide nor hair of either woman. It was actually Thor who provided the first answers.

“The ladies Jane and Darcy have gone into town to collect the Media Publications of Lady Darcy's victory last evening. It was a glorious triumph! And Steven, Lady Darcy is not fond of flowers. She says they are a plant’s reproductive system. I would suggest a lasting gift that she will treasure in your courting. Perhaps a new coffee vessel.” He grinned and clapped Steve on the shoulder hard enough to cause him to stumble to the side.

“She never told me she didn't like flowers.” Bucky's face fell as he realized Thor knew things he didn't.                

“She has treasured them just the same. You were most impressive with your hunt and discovery of wild blooms. It is the effort that became most rewarding as a gift.” He grinned at them widely.

“So, you approve, of this, of me dating Darcy as well as Bucky?” Steve had been worried of Thor's disapproval. He was a man of honor and he was extraordinarily protective of Darcy.

“Such things are not uncommon on Asgard. When one lives as long as we do, many folks keep multiple lovers. I, myself, am completely fulfilled by my Jane and such things have never appealed to me, but the emotions between the three of you had been plaguing Lady Darcy and this is why I suggested such an arrangement.” Thor beamed brightly, rather proud of his advice.

“You too huh?” Steve said smiling.

 

* * *

 

“Jane, he's gonna leave me!” Darcy whined for the hundredth time as they slumped through the security checkpoints to get back into the compound.

“Darcy, he loves you so much. It's not going to happen.”

“What if it's too much? What if I'm too much? What if he finally realizes that I was just holding Steve's place till big blonde and stupid came around? He's the one that brought it up. HE started the whole thing, like, it was a stupid little crush. I loved Steve like he was a Pop-Tart.” 

    Darcy waited as the robotic arm reached out and snatched the bug from where someone had attached it to the back of her jacket.

“Well you do love Pop-Tarts a whole lot.” Jane grinned.

“AGH! You are totally not helping!”

“Darcy, you remember last year when you were complaining that I couldn't talk about how amazing Thor was because, and I quote here, 'One should not wave ambrosia at a woman starving to death.' Now you’re sitting in a buffet of super soldiers who want to make you walk funny.”

Finally cleared, they stepped into the compound to the sound of Thor's booming laughter. The girls followed it around to find Steve and Bucky sitting with Thor as Steve animatedly tells a story. Thor is the only one facing them and doesn't bother to stop Steve.

“That's not even the worst of it! I've been tongue tied around her since the day I met her. I realized how fucked I really am. She’s beautiful and sweet and funny and she lives here. It took me a year to come up with a plan. This is where Bucky got involved. I thought if she helped take care of the world’s biggest asshole,” Steve kicked Bucky under the table and Bucky punched Steve back. “Maybe we'd have a common ground you know. Somewhere to start. But I come back and Buck's already dating her. They’re having movie nights and, I am so glad your mother is dead, because she would have a thing or two to say about this bit, sex. Lots of sex. On every surface in the apartment. It doesn't help she keeps wandering out of his bedroom after I have to listen to it, looking well loved and wearing my clothes. It's been, torture. Alright your turn. How did you meet Jane?”

“She hit me with a car!” Thor proudly declared grinning like an idiot.

“THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!” Jane screamed.

“Twice. She hit him with a car twice.” Darcy had never failed to point out that fact anytime the story had been told.

“Welcome back doll, when did you get in?” Bucky grinned and crossed the room to kiss her. Any lingering doubts Darcy had were chased away when he crowded her into the wall, taking her head in his hands to tilt her head so he could ravage her mouth with his tongue and press his whole body against her into the wall. He still wanted her at least, that was something.

“In time to hear Steve complaining about our really loud sex.” Darcy said when he finally let up enough for her to talk.

Firm hands found their way beneath her thighs and lifted her until, with a startled cry, she found herself wrapped around him. “Oh yeah? That asshole. Shall I defend your honor?” His hips rolled seductively into her. “I need to find ways to show you how much I fucking love you, since I'm pretty shit at trying to say it. I've been trying to get it to come out my mouth since you walked in the door, but my mouth keeps wondering what you taste like.”

“You better find some good ways of showing me in the next, oh, eight hours, Mister Barnes. My boyfriend is taking me out tonight, so I'm going to need time to shower and change. Don't wait up, he seems pretty frustrated.” She winked at Steve, who arched a brow at their antics.

“Well now, I suppose I'll just have to take my good night kiss now.” Bucky spun her away from the wall and started hauling her down the hall.

Darcy cried back over his shoulder, “THIS IS YOUR FAULT STEVE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WEAR HIM OUT!”

Nothing but three sets of laughter came back.

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> I don't even know anymore... we're just gonna roll out for a bit.
> 
> I want to give a huge thank you to my beta the1967 you may notice they have writers credits on this now for all the amazing work their doing cleaning my trash up!


End file.
